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Why You Need to Understand Social Media ♡

Heyy guys!! 🙂

Today, I will talk about something many of you can relate to. It’s about societal pressures to be someone who doesn’t even exist, and that someone is perfectionism. To start, I will give you a little background, explain why some people (especially teens) feel insecure, identify the leading causes, and share my thoughts and opinions. So, consider this a blog post and an informational article; it’s mixed. 🙂 Also, this is going to be a longer post today. Still, I need you to read this, especially if your relationship with yourself hasn’t been the best lately. 

When I was a child, I didn’t care about how I looked. It never even crossed my mind once that I was not enough. And truthfully, no one has ever told me that—except me. I judge myself more than anyone else, and I know that you do too, because it’s true: we are our harshest critics. It’s hard to live in a society where hating yourself is more common than loving yourself. It sounds terrible! It is, and it affects you in more ways than you’ll want to admit. I understand wanting to have a perfect form; I understand wanting to change the things that make you different, and I understand feeling like you’re not enough. Before I leave this intro and dive into this topic, I want to tell you one thing I really, really need you to remember: all those feelings are valid, and you are not a terrible person for feeling that way. It just means you have been hurt by the outside world telling you what to do with your life, and like most people, you’re learning to sort through it. 

Why do we chase that ideal form and beat ourselves up when we don’t have it? First, we beat ourselves up because of comparison. Ever since humans existed, there has been an ideal form. Over time, it has changed quite a bit, but it has always been around. And we always want to be that version of “perfection” because everyone looks up to it. We choose to compare ourselves to others and unreal standards because we want to be someone other people look up to. Not everyone wants this; some people are satisfied with themselves, but I’m talking about the people who aren’t. Most people want to feel noticed and seen, which can start from not being acknowledged enough as a child. People like feeling seen and noticed; it’s a dopamine hit, and being that one person everyone wants to be/looks up to gives you a dopamine boost because you feel seen. When you don’t have that ideal form, you don’t feel seen and, therefore, beat yourself up (physically and/or mentally). It’s all about feeling seen, and that’s why insecure people who don’t appreciate themselves tend to fall more easily into “The Standards.”

Is social media the only cause? While social media is responsible for A LOT of comparisons, other factors also contribute. And for every person, those causes are different, so I’ll review a few of the main ones because there are too many sources for me to cover them all. Before we dive into this, note that we have infinitely different pressures and comparisons. Again, it depends on the person. However, some of the main pressures we feel are academic, cultural, physical, emotional, career-related, financial, and social. Many of these are caused by social media, but other sources can as well. For example, academic pressure can come from your parents forcing you to do well, or from you forcing yourself to do well. You could constantly compare your work to your classmates’/co-workers’, worrying that they are doing better than you. And this all leads to the same conclusion I reached in the last question: we want to be the best because we want to feel seen and for other people to like us. So, social media is not the only cause; there are infinite other causes, so just by cutting social media out of your life, you’re not going to instantly feel better. I don’t know you — maybe you will — but you likely have other sources for your insecurities. You must change your actions, what’s in your heart, and how you view yourself to change this. And I will tell you, transitioning from self-hatred to self-love is not a 1-week process; it varies for each person and could take even your whole life. I’m not saying this to discourage you; I’m saying this to prepare you. You can’t go into this transition and wake up the next day instantly in love with yourself; it took me months, and I’m still working on it. So be patient with yourself; after all you’ve put yourself through, you need this.

How does social media get into our heads, and what about comparison? Social media gets into your head by showing you standards that people appreciate. What I mean is that your recommended page is often filled with viral videos, and usually, a certain demographic that goes viral. We see these “perfect” people with “perfect” lives, and we want them because they are valued —and we want to be valued. Comparison is significant in allowing you to look at these people and idolize them for being liked. And, of course, since you want to feel valuable, you want to look just like them. This leads you to think, “How can I be better than them?” and “What do they have that I don’t?” As a result, you end up comparing your unique self to people who are just using filters. You are real; they are not.

Limiting your screen time, following people who make you confident, and realizing that not all social media is real help tone down the adverse effects you may experience. In the end, you can’t completely block everything you don’t want to see, and I get that scrolling is comforting every once in a while; it’s a way to escape reality, so by taking some control over your feed and what you view, you can start to build an online space that reflects your values. 

Hopefully, this post helped you identify key factors in understanding social media and its influence on you. As a teen and anyone insecure, you must recognize social media and how it can affect you. By understanding that social media has power over you, you can begin to take control of its effect on you. 

Avery Rose 🙂